He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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