why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
