Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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