I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize