i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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