And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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