Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
