She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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