yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
