Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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