apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
