I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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