I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
