Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize