Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
