i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
