How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
