No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
