good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
