The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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