I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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