I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
