Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
