I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I party with great urgency now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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