If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
