i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize