I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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