Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
