dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You're my little dorito
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize