sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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