Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
