Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize