is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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