"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This house was built for laser tag.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
