chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
