I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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