dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
