I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
