I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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