I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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