The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
