Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
