just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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