the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
look no pants
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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