He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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