sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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