Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
