Kiss
Puke
one might say we're banned from that church
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you're hired as official boob wrangler
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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