whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
