I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
