yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
