The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
