I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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