if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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