I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
