i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
