I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
