Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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