Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
