Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
