i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
