I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize