I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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