I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
