too bad you live with your parents still
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize