i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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