The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
