i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
