1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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