How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize